What I wished for is all said in this lyric.

I Could not Ask For More

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see, the smile upon your face
And these are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
And these are the moments
I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are, is everything to me

And these are the moments
I know heaven must exist
And these are the moments, I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for (yeah)
And I could not ask for more…

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
And every dream I’ve had has come true
yeah, right here in this moment, is right where I'm meant to be
Oh, here with you here with me…
Ooh, yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

And these are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
and these are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for yeah
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
And every dream I’ve hads come true
yeah, and right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
here with you here with me…

I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Cuz it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more (more)
ooh and I could not ask for more

Take a Break With Kit Kat

Is that one of the way to win back his heart by putting effort in making changes for the betterment? Or is it a start of a real break up? I don't know. I am trying to be optimistic as possible and pray for the best of it.

For the 1st time, I let it all out on him and crying was no longer an embarrassment. Part of me regret taking this friendship to next level but part of me is happy that I was once in his life. We could have been best friends, but what have we both done to our friendship? It's too late to turn back and things will never be the same again.

I never wanted this relationship. No doubt, he is my kind of guy. It never came across my mind to love him or even to have this affair. Since the day we both agreed to board this so called love boat, I let my feelings grow. I didn't even try coz trying = effort and effort = hardwork = +ve or -ve result. So I just let it grow and it grew. However, as we go on, he has so many hesitations and I don't understand when he was the one who wanted this. Now, after we have been together for 9 months he is telling me that he has no feelings towards me. What actually happened during those months? He was at his weakest point and I came at a right time and he reached out. That's manipulation I called it.

Aargh..there's so much to say and I don't know how to put them in words.

I wanted to let him go but he wanted us to give it a break before we both rationalize things. May be he is right. May be during this break we both will be more at ease and I will try to improve myself in a lot of things. I want to win him back.

But this space gives me a lot of peace. We both now are like how we first date. I see things get better, I hope... I am not supposed to put any expectations and I keep telling myself not to expect anything during this break. I hope he will find his peace and God will open up his heart to love me.

I live with no expectations since yesterday. I feel somewhat calm. But deep down in my heart I pray that he will be back someday. I hope he can see my sincerity and all the love that I can offer. I just want him to fall in love again, the feelings that have left him for long. Then I could not ask for more.

Odd & Strange Anger & Frustration

No soul likes waiting. Waiting for something to happen or someone to come. But I am quite sure there are some kind souls out there who don’t mind waiting and be in the stage of frustration.

Waiting is an agony especially when there is no certainty. Waiting ties to hopes. Hopes are expectations. When expectations are not met, they lead to anger and frustration a stage where no soul wants to be in. When anger and frustration greet you at the doorstep of your heart, you have to strive to be in total control of yourself.

Mild anger or frustration for normal circumstances will still within your domination. Odd, strange, few and far between losing total control leads to worst case scenario = suicide

The Road Runner

Was so glad that i forced myself to wake up for a morning run. Even though i did not get enough sleep last nite coz of the adrenaline rush from my run on Monday nite I still made an attempt to go.

I WENT RUNNING WITH DATO' BERNARD CHANDRAN!!! He is far out better looking in person than what you see on TV and pictures. Being a celebrity, never underestimate his endurance level. That guy runs like a road runner and his stamina is outrageous.

Bernard as a popular and known as a fashion prince is a down to earth person and I am sure i'm looking forward for my next run with him, Soo Aun and Wenisa next week. Have to keep up with them and start to work on a faster pace.

Dato' Bernard its a pleasure knowing you.

Indecisive or Fickle Minded

Let me tell you something. People who are in the above category are the one that you should try to have minimal involvement with especially when it comes to work and meeting deadlines. But most of the time they are your immediate supervisor or management who have a say in executing a project. Even a simplest project such as plant a tree. They MUST have a say and simply want to say. Didn't they ever realized that their say delays the execution? I always wonder why do they have to stick their nose and at the same time move their lips just to say...errr...I think it should be this way. WHY?? Why on earth must you stick your nose and open up your lips to say something when you are still in the process of thinking!! Then because of your thinking process, the coolie has has to revamp the existing workflow to suit to your fancies.

So just shut up and you only talk when you have decide and BELIEVE that you are definite. Stop being indecisive & fickle coz it messes up my time. I have a deadline to meet. GOD pls help!

There Is Nothing Wrong Being Boyish

Saw this lil girl at Midvalley Food Court. She brings me back to memories when I was 10. I can't take my eyes off her and I felt like it was a flashback of me. The face, her hair, her t-shirt, her jeans, her shoes and her leg!! Her gadget, only then, mine was a Game & Watch. Game Boy or PSP were something that we all have never heard of.

To whoever she belongs to, I pray that she will grow up to be a witty, pretty, confident and strong lady. Dear Adik, it is ok to be boyish. Don't let anyone mess around with you. It is ok if you ever got into a fist fight or kick a guy on their butt or even throw them down the stairs. You will change as you grow older and when you get to learn about bees and butterflies. It is never too late to change.

To her mom or anyone related to her, if you ever accidentally peep to my blog, please say hi to her and I apologize for posting her face in my blog & facebook.

It Is Probably Hidden Somewhere

Do you believe that something always happen for a reason? The answer probably lies somewhere beneath the blue sky or it could just be a test from the All Mighty. Or it could be mistakes that you subconciously create that lead you to thinking that something happened for a reason.

Have you ever realized that when you love someone, you should not expect something in return? I didn't until today. A friend told me that a sincere love is just to love and continue loving without expecting that the person to love you back. Sooner or later, she or he will realize your sincerity in loving them and they will come to you. If they don't, it is ok because love doesn't have to have a reason or expectation. It is ok if they don't love you back and it is ok to be lonely coz at the end of the day, you will still be left alone.

Spread your arms, face in the sun and let it all out. Someday love will lead them back.